What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
