Kiss
Puke
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
