Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
