i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
