apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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