I am spending my child support on dildos
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
