I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Who died my cat blue again?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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