Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
