I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize