in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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