could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize