we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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