these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
