He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
