Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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