I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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