beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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