I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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