At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
