I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
