Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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