After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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