Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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