If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
