what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize