I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
