i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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