this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
