when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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