Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just high enough for therapy.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
