:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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