I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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