they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
