So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
