Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
