thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
