Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
