There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
