And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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