I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
