My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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