does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
