Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
