when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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