Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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