hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
