It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
