I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
