He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
