i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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