This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
