i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
