she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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