A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
