chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
