I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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