Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
