she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
