He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
