The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
3 2 1 whiskey
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
