we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
