And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
